So last night I went out with my mom and two of my best friends to Karaoke at Dinos resturaunte on the Castro Valley Blvd. Now, thoes of you who live in the tri-city area (SL, Haystacks and the valley) I am sure you are aware of the essence of Castro Valley. The tweakers, the hicks, the spanky-licious biker chicks and broskimos- pretty much everything castro valley chooses to be is white trash. Now I know, I am all hopped up on hater-aid, but my expirience at karaoke last night was just the pinicle of everything I am talking about, therefor making this all too blogworthy.
I don't have enough time, self composure or vocabulary for that matter to give you a play by play of the night. Just picture this. Old ladies with white mullets, lace 80's unitard-turtleneck-onesies, gross old men fingering the rim of my boots and trying to show me "what I am missing" on the dance floor. Skanky spankylicious meth head chicks donning a belly shirt, skull suspenders and payless kswiss knock offs seducing grandpa in the front row about to have heart attack from all the blood rushing to his raging member (but he still had enough in him to take some camera phone pics boooyyyeee!) Men telling me they "sure like the heels" on my "sisters"(moms) boots. Two steppin and trippin grannies, cowboys and millichichi wannabes. The crowd was not all terrible though, a few groups of young people came in and we all danced to 80's jams on the floor which was quite fun (except for the fuckhead who completely butchured my favorite new wave jam of all time, Ah-Ha's Take on Me). I danced, I sang and as I threw back the vodka and sutter home I realized I was having the most fun I have had in a long time. More fun than any night out in the city, than any lounge I've been to or any hip-bar night Ive had. With two of my best friends, my mother and the crazy (and unnactactive) locals of the Castrizzoo Vizz-alley.
But check it- Bill Cosby was on Leno last night. Return of the Puddin' Pops! Man do I wish he was at Dinos last night...
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